Just think of me when you feel a cool breeze on a blue day...

(FRIDAY) NP: Nightwish – Dead To The World


HALLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Oh, I feel so German today! I’m eating a Brazilian peanut candy (paçoca) and thinking to myself: if I ever die (and yes, I will! :P) I want to be cremated! You readers are responsible to throw my ashes in many parts of this world. (Btw, I feel German because I’m going insane! ^^)

I want to be everywhere possible when I die, completely free! I’ll be like a little bit in the ocean, a bit in Stonehenge, France (Oh, throw me at the garden of any of Le Corbusier’s houses! ^^ ), a bit in New York or Chicago, some of me also in Holland (any of the modern houses will do!), Sweden (that will have to be at David’s garden! That rules! :O ), some in Canada (Chris will probably throw me on the snow near the wolves. Am I right? ;) ), Finland (HA, that will have to be anywhere in Kitee! Make it near the water, in a certain island, close to a small cottage, hihi. Oki, one of you will have to ask Tuomas to do that for me! ^^), Australia (Ness will know what to do – just throw me on the air, oki? :)), some in Italy (at Lago D’Orta, the closest possible to the gelateria! :P) , some in Berlin (Potzdammer platz or at river Spree), some in Brazil (Vitoria – Pedra Azul, Sao Paulo – Masp, Praça Por Do Sol and Via Funchal - and Minas Gerais – any open field will do, among the cows) and some you just send to the moon! Yes, that’s very important: make sure you send some of me to the moon! And throw the least you can in the ocean, as I have a certain problem with the water - especially as ash! :P ).

I guess that’s it! My cds will be donated to my friends, my bed, closet and desk will be donated to architecture or design museums (so every design student in this world knows exactly what NOT TO DO when they’re designing :P) and my clothes and organs will go for people in need of it. All the money you get from selling my other stuff, just send to Greenpeace, WWF or use that to buy machine guns to kill the bastards in this world! Print this letter, the date it was written and if you ever get arrested for killing someone, tell the police it was my last will, so you felt forced to do so, therefore it was not your fault.

All of the pics I took, which can be found on the piece of furniture in front of my bed, will be sent to a permanent exhibition at MAna (the Museum of Ana – to be opened right after you find the project I’m designing for it and build it yourself with the contribution of rich people such as Johnny Depp, Tuomas Holopainen, Zakk Wyld, Lars Ulrich, Sebastian Bach, Tobias Sammet, Andre Matos, Steven Spielberg, Norman Foster, Steve Harris, the whole Porsche crew, Mr. Bean, Joey Tribianni, Woody Woodpecker, Snoopy, Calvin, Hobbes and Wacko Warner – those are the people who I’ve devoted a lot from my life to, so they should give something in return when I die. Make puppy eyes, and they’ll surrender!)

And last, but not least: plant trees every summer, love the rain, spend your free time laying on the grass and watching the sky, hug and kiss all the ones you love, read fairytales, live fairytales, learn a new language, go to metal gigs and party for me, spend more time with your family and friends – especially the old people -, travel more, don’t waste your money with silly things and eat all the chocolate you can, cause if chocolates can’t sweeten your life anymore, then you’re welcome to join me on my future world.

I’m not killing myself, you mad people! I’m just talking nonsense… ahhh, paçoca has the power to change my life in such a manner! ^^

Stay well and talk to you soon! :-*

PS: fucked the diet today. It’s Friday and I don’t care!


‘Dead, silent, constant
Yet always changing-
My favourite view of this world’


-------------------------------------------


(WEDNESDAY) NP: Bryan Adams – Straight From The Heart


Hi all. Any news? I hope you’re well.

I’m much better today; trying to think better and see the bright side of life. Well, the sky seems to be helping today, as it’s deep blue with small clouds all over it. There’s probably a name for this kind of clouds, but I couldn’t tell. I’ll ask Mike, he probably knows what it’s called.

So happy Valentine ’s Day for the ones who live abroad. I hope you had a great time ^^. It’s not Valentine’s here in Brazil, we celebrate it in June 12th.

We just had a laugh here at work because of Ronaldo’s wedding – the footballer, that is. He got married to a really beautiful and funny girl, Daniela. She seems to be a nice girl. Some say she’s getting married for the money, I prefer to naively believe she’s doing it for love. Some say he’s too ugly for her to be in love with him. I say he’s ugly, but looks is not and never will be the most important, imo. People say he’s an interesting person (but they say monetarily speaking!) I say, he’s interesting at least because he happens to know the whole world and has already experienced lots of situation we’d like to experience (such as meeting David Beckham HAHAHAHA, euh, just kidding!^^). Well, the guy probably has some really good stories to tell.

So they got married last Monday, in Paris - Chantilly castle (I wonder if there was any chantilly involved? If it was my wedding, it would probably be! ^^). They’ve invited about 250 people, and the whole Brazilian elite were there. Even people who weren’t invited! :-P

Mind you, one of the guests was invited and he was not allowed to bring his gf. Reason: the girl was annoying Daniela for like a month or so before the wedding day, telling her she’d go to the wedding anyway, and she would wear white! How annoying can this be for a bride? I think VERY annoying! Anyway, Ronaldo had dinner with the guest last weekend and asked him once again NOT to bring his gf, as Daniela was already very upset with this story and Ronaldo thought she could even do something stupid in case the girl appeared. The guy agreed not to bring her, and that was it.

Heeh, Monday, wedding day, at dinner party. The girl enters the castle, wearing white, passes by Daniela and says: ‘told you I was going to come!’. The bride was, of course, really pissed off! Conclusion: the naughty girl was asked in front of all of the guests to leave the party. I was so proud of Dani :-P.

We started to imagine some situations here at work and stupid leads to stupidity, so suddenly I was almost wetting my pants so much I laughed!

Well, I guess some people are right: when we cry too much we usually laugh too much the next day1 I just hope the other way around isn’t true as well! Either that, or tomorrow I’ll be back to being miserable! :-P

Stay well people! Talk to you soon!

Ps: btw, still on diet! YAY! That’s 3 days sticking to it already! ^^


‘Give it to me straight from the heart
Tell me we can make another start
You know I'll never go - as long as I know
It's comin' straight from the heart’

Welcome, pal, to my planet hell.

NP: Nightwish – Planet Hell


Heys! I hope you are ok. I’m not, though. I need another job, I’m so tired… but this is not the worse: I’m sad! Very sad!!! I’m not satisfied with this job, I hate the kind of work I do there, I’m under a lot of stress and I don’t want to be there anymore. Help, anyone? :(

I have no choice, but I must find something new. I must be happier than this. I can’t think only about the money I earn. I’m not healthy, I have no will to do things, I have no peace and also no idea of what to do.

What can I do? What’s more important, money or health? I only need money to go to concerts, pay for the internet and buy chocolates (yes, as if!)! It’s not too much, so I don’t have to be stressed and under so much pressure. Yes, I want to travel and see the world, but I guess I can also understand that I’d have no money for that if that was the case. I’d stay happy here if I was under less stress. This is too much for me. I want to quit.


Ps: This one is worth having the full lyrics. I’m in the perfect mood for it.

‘Denying the lying
A million children fighting
For lives in strife
For hope beyond the horizon

A dead world
A dark path
Not even crossroads to choose from
All the blood red
Carpets before me
Behold this fair creation of God

My only wish to leave behind
All the days of the Earth
An everyday hell of my kingdom come

The 1st rock thrown again
Welcome to hell, little Saint
Mother Gaia in slaughter
Welcome to paradise, Soldier

My 1st cry neverending
All life is to fear for life
You fool, you wanderer
You challenged the gods and lost

Save yourself a penny for the ferryman
Save yourself and let them suffer
In hope
In love
This world ain't ready for The Ark
Save yourself a penny for the ferryman
Save yourself and let them suffer
In hope
In love
Mankind works in mysterious ways’

Weekend Warrior! :-P

NP: Nightwish – Dark Chest Of Wonders

Hey all! How have you been? I’ve been oki, thanks. I had a great weekend, full of party and fun. Got drunk on Saturday, met great friends at my friend’s b-day and slept a lot. Btw, happy birthday, Rafitchas Rafonilda. :-*. Hope that Fatboy Slim can make you dance around the room for a while! ^^

Last Friday I had a lot of things to do here at work and I didn’t have enough time to finish all that. Not to mention I had to leave 30 minutes earlier because they were going to clean the entire office. I knew I’d come to work today and find a huge pile of things to do, so I had many lousy moments during the weekend every time I thought of work. Luckily and miraculously, I arrived here today and it was as if half my work was done. I could finish work really fast in the morning, and didn’t have to go to a client as I was supposed to, so I’ve stayed at the office all day and was able to finish all I had to do! ^^
Apparently it won’t be such a bad week after all!

Hmm, bad and sad news though: started my diet today. How annoying is it to stay without a chocolate taste in your mouth? :/ I find it very sad! So here I am chewing gum. I can’t afford to do this every day, as I don’t want to catch gastritis. I’ll have to find another way to sweeten my life. Damn! :/

Hope you had a good day. I’ll have German class soon, so I’ll catch ya tomorrow. Stay well and have a nice week! :)


‘Fly to a dream
Far across the sea
All the burdens gone
Open the chest once more
Dark chest of wonders
Seen through the eyes
Of the one with pure heart
Once so long ago’

WHERE ART THOU, CHOCO??? :'-(

NP: NOTHING! (but humming Sonata Arctica – San Sebastian ‘adapted’ ^^ )

OMG, OMG, OMG!!! Just had lunch like 1 hour after the usual! I had to visit a client right before lunch and had no time to eat properly, so I had to order in a sandwich. What’s really bothering me is the fact I HAD NO CHOCOLATE!!! :O
OMG, I feel like I’m gonna faint! I’m just going to order an ice cream. I NEED TO SURVIVE, FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!!! *puppy eyes*

So how are you? I’m fine, JUST LACKING CHOCOLATE!!! ^^
Hmm, anyway, hope you’re well. I don’t have a thing to report today, apart from the very important bit about the chocolate, so I’ll just shush!


‘Sun of Sao Pauloooo,,
Oh why I have to stay?
It is all I’ve ever despised
But now others’ skies are turning grey!
It was good; I got to know it well
Although it made me see
That the sun of Sao Pauloooo
IS FAR TOO HOT FOR MEEEEEEE!!!’

Double post again ^^

NP: (THURSDAY) Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band - Against the Wind


Hellooooooooo! Happy Ana here! :D

Before I write about anything, I’d like to do some considerations.

1) HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR OUI OUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!! Hope you had a great day, full of chocolate cake and fofinhos around ^^. Your present will take a while to get there, as I still haven’t found a way to pack it! Hihi, I’ll shush.^^
2) Titiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, once again, that was mega cool of you to call me. I couldn’t understand what was being played, but I knew it could only be something great! Gosh, Rammstein! I’m truly mega glad you called so thankie for the surprise. Love ya, daddy! :-* (btw, which mobile company is yours? I’d like to know and see if I can sms you through the company’s website. Can you tell me?)
3) Ness: I really don’t know what to say about the job thingy. I wish you all the luck and hope it works better this way. You’ll see, once things are ready for you at work, it’ll be piece of cake to get those guys to pay you what you deserve. *huge hugs* dear, and stay well! :-*
4) I’m really sad to know about Sentenced splitting up. I hope they’re the only Finnish band doing so! :/
5) João, thanks for the lovely message. It’s great talking to you too and I’ll have to thank Carol for this one. Hope you’re well! :)
6) Kisses to the ones who read the blog ^^ (a special one goes to Cricri, who happens to post on the tag board all the time. :-*)

Okay, backi to the daily post. I’m so happy today! I don’t even know why, but I woke up and decided it would be a nice day, no matter what! I had a dream last night about my old school and I was learning math (HA, as if it was possible! :P) and Titi was there calling me on the mobile! ^^. After that I dreamt I had skipped a very important ritual! :/ I got happy to know this one was just a dream! ^^

So backi to normal day at work today and it’s flying so fast! I’m really glad I haven’t been watching the clock every 10 minutes!!! I have a project to design and guess what? I GET TO USE MY CRIATIVITY THIS TIME, YAY!!!! Yep, I believe in miracles, they happen everyday! :D

My cousin Géssica is at home and tonight we’re supposed to go do some shopping at the mall. Many of my friends have b-days this month, so I need a lot of shopping! :P

Btw, I’d like to congratulate Priscila, who had her b-day yesterday and who’ll be getting married on May 14th! WISH YOU ALL THE MEGA BEST, PRI!!! :-*

Well, nothing more to report today, only that I just ate my daily chocolate and it tasted delicious as always! ^^
Ah well, I’m just having a great day, so everything seems great and tastes delicious! Ah, chocolate ever will, anyway! ^^

Okiiii, see ya soon and take care. :-*


‘And I remember what she said to me
How she swore that it never would end
I remember how she held me, oh so tight
Wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then ‘


--------------------------------------------------------------


NP: (WEDNESDAY) A-ha – Take on me


Hello!!!

How have you been? I’ve been very well, thank you very much. Hmm, I’ve caught a flu though and I’m beginning to believe that those stupid viruses are all fruit of your imagination. They only happen if you allow them to and I do think it’s all because of how your mind acts. Mind you I was fine till this morning and when I got to work, at 12:00, I’ve started sneezing and coughing. My eyes got huge and red, my neck started to itch, my head started to ache, my stomach got sick and I feel like burning. See? Work is making me sick!!! ^^ Like Ness wisely said, I’m allergic to work :D.

We started work at noon, had to stop for a quick snack and then returned to work. I think it’s mega stupid, as we could have started work at 2pm, but after lunch!

Now let’s talk about good things, holiday! It was awesome, I’ve rested so much. My cousins went home the day before yesterday, we’ve had fun watching the carnival parade and yesterday we went to the movies. We saw ‘Finding Neverland’ with Johny Depp and Kate Winslet; 2 of my favorite actors. The movie is a blast, a kick in the butt of mankind and shows precisely how stupid we are. We really don’t care about living and being a child. We think it’s best if we grow up and become something stupid.

We’re never up to living; we just want to survive, isn’t it? We want our money to be enough for a whole month, and we give up dreams just because our salary won’t be enough for them. Why don’t we give up work and go hunt our dreams instead? Why don’t we care more about ourselves and what we really want instead of how many hours of work we have this month? Sorry, but I don’t agree with the fact that we must work to survive! I believe we must fight for our dreams and life.

We don’t fight anymore; we are too comfortable in our little shells inside our jobs. We don’t dare to leave things to do others things, and if we do we prefer to have our jobs to fight for our dreams. I’m done with this attitude, I’m done with this mankind behavior, and don’t come tell me that you need the money to fulfill your dreams – you’re just being comfortable with the situation if you think so!

I might be a bit shushed, but my dreams will always come 1st in my life. I’ll never quit until I have them lived! I might even live them and realize they’re not the best for me, but I’m fighting for them and there’s nothing or no one to tell me otherwise.

Okay, we’ll talk more soon. Stay well and fight for the dreams, hey? There’s nothing wrong with being a Peter Pan and exploring the unknown. As they say: ‘Walk new paths or you’ll only get to the places others have reached before’.


‘So needless to say at odds and ends
But I'll be stumbling away
Slowly learning that life is okay
Say after me’
It's so much better to be safe than sorry’

HEEH, unusual day! ^^

NH: Alice in Chains – Down in a Hole

Hi all, how have you been? I hope you’re well! :)

My headache is killing me. I went to bed super early last night, according to my patterns, and I already had a headache then. I couldn’t sleep well because of that and woke up with the same headache. Okay, I didn’t have any pills for that, but in case you don’t know me that well, I hate taking medicine just because of a headache. I hardly take medicine anyway, I avoid it till the last minute, and I guess this is it right now :/. I’ll have lunch soon, so if it doesn’t get better after it, I’ll have some pills. Or just go home :D

Ohhh, this is Friday, last day of work before the greatest Brazilian party: Carnival! It starts today and ends next Wednesday. I believe it’s our biggest holiday and although there are a few people who don’t appreciate the whole party (just like myself), it’s always awesome to have some days off to rest, travel or just be lazy at home (which is probably me again! :P).

Brazilian carnival is fun though, I can’t deny it. The music, samba, is great and catchy, and makes you dance even if you don’t like it. Everybody seems happy, drunk and careless, which can be a problem. The quantity of accidents and deaths by drunken people are superb. Men get all cheeky, drunk and think girls are all bitches. That’s mainly why during this holiday I’m always at home and having a cold Smirnoff Ice! This way I don’t have to come across stupid people. ^^

Watching carnival on TV is something else than being part of the fun. It’s great to see what the samba ‘schools’ are up to throughout the year. Those guys work hard for the entire year just for this holiday. They make the music, lyrics, the allegoric cars, the scenario objects and all clothing and costumes. It’s so beautiful to see it all being tested live on the avenue. And for the guys there’s an extra: naked women! They’re everywhere during this holiday, even in the streets, if you know where to look for! :P

I’m not the kind of person who watches every samba school on the parade. I do like to sneak pick at it and know the results of who won as ‘best school’ on Wednesday! Yes, there’s a judgment crew and they decide who the best at many areas was. It’s fun, really! :) And it must be even cooler to be part of the parade, as many of my friends have already told me. I’d like to be part of the drumming area, but then I’d have to train it the whole year and I’m too lazy for that! But I’ll have to be on the parade someday, that’s a must! Not as a naked girl, though! :P


Backi from lunch and I must say it’s great to break the routine. Today we had lunch at a diner near work and I had a very delicious cheese burger with mayo. After that I dropped by the bakery just to buy my daily chocolate and I even bought a different one to what I’m used to. Because of all those changes the day has turned into something completely different to what it usually is. Cool hey? Routine sucks!!! ;)

Hehehe, then we got back to the office and the girls have checked our payment and started to cry, jokingly. We started to bellyache about it and decided we’ll sell our bodies (hey guys, I might go naked to the parade after all! Of course, only if there’s money involved :P ). So one of the girls who must pay the restoration of her car told us she doesn’t mind the small payment this month, since she’ll make an architectonic model to help pay that restoration. One minute after she told us that she got a mail saying: ‘Dear Rita, unfortunately it’s an architectonic model for a poor district, and we’re not paying anything. Thanks for the understanding and hope we can still count on you.’ We sympathized with her pain, but there was no one on earth that could make us stop laughing so much! :P. As we say here ‘we’re not well paid, but we have fun, alright!!!’

And now I just found out I might be going out tonight. Hihi, there’s a Bon Jovi cover band playing at the pub, Angela and Andre will go and I should meet them there. Main problem is we’re supposed to be there at midnight only. Can you believe that? A show that starts at 24:00!!! :O Well, I’ll go IF the headache lets me! :/ yeah, I’ve got pills to sooth it, but no effect! And I don’t even want to think of the traffic jam I’ll be into on my way back home! It’ll take me ages to reach home and I must meet my boss in the middle of the way to hand in her photo camera. Aye, I’m screwed up! :P

Oki, now I’m sleepy due to the pills I took for the headache! See? There’s no point in taking remedy! You fix one thing and twist another! :/ Hm, anyway. backi to work now. Just a few more hours and I’m officially in holiday! ^^

I’m done for today. See ya people and have a nice weekend! :-*

‘Down in a hole, losin' my soul
Down in a hole, losin' control
I'd like to fly
But my wings have been so denied’

Me, myself, I and all the other Anas inside.

NH: Silverchair – Ana’s song

Note: just to state clear that I write the posts at work most of the times (when I have the time, anyway), and only post them when I get home at late hours – or when the server allows me to! Anyway, sometimes I write it at noon, but only post it at midnight, so it’s not posted in ‘real time’ to when it’s written (which means I’m not ‘having lunch’ or ‘talking to my boss’ at midnight or so). Just thought I should let you know, in case you haven’t noticed it yet.

Well, this irritating blog won’t let me post pics again today. What do I do with it?

Guess what I just ate? A pear!! I’m beginning to think it’s a pear problem, because again it tasted like apple! :O Maybe my mom is keeping pears too close to apples in the refrigerator? Hihi, I wonder if the apples are tasting like pears :P.

So how are you today? I’m very sleepy. It was very hard to leave my bed in the morning. I had to turn on the abajour as soon as I woke up, or I was for sure going back to sleeping. It’s rainy again, I have a flu, found a spider in the bathroom today (had to kill it - sorry Ness!!! ^^) and my dog was smiling at me in the morning, as if I were the idiot who was leaving the house just to buy her food (damn dog, somehow I am that idiot!!!).

Hehehe, I’ll have to post a pic of Sophia here sometime! She’s the ugliest dog in the world! So barky, such a temperamental dog, such an ugly smile, and yet you always want to cuddle her!!! She’s always so happy (although her bad mood is instantaneous and she barks too much, and at very inappropriate hours!!!)… but I love her. I’ve decided to name her Sophia because the name means ‘wisdom’. She’s not wise at all (unless you call ‘eating the bumper’, magazines and newspaper wisdom! Well, I guess it depends on the referential! She still is the dog that smiles at me in the morning, as if I were the idiot who leaves the house to buy her food :P).

Well, I’m off to lunch! CHOCOLATE SOON ^^

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Guess who’s here with me???? CHOCOLATE, my sweetest friend ^^. I really needed it, since I’m almost falling over this keyboard *lame excuse* ^^. Well, it’s just to help me come back to the ‘working Ana’ mode.

I’ve been thinking about this ‘mode thing’ and my teacher is right: there’s one layer of us for each thing we appreciate or do – or even for each moment. I’m Ana, but I can be many Anas; just depends on my mood or the situation.

I’m divided into many ‘mes’, such as ‘Ana - the architect’, ‘Ana - the daughter’, ‘Ana - the friend’, ‘Ana - the music lover’, ‘Ana - the mystical’, ‘Ana - the bellyacher’, ‘Ana - the traveling lover’, ‘Ana - the lazy’ ’and last, but not least: ‘Ana - the chocoholic’ ^^. I’m it all and much more, only I sometimes can’t be them all at the same time; although it would be the appropriate, in my opinion.

That said, most people don’t know all the ‘mes’ that lie within me! Maybe not even I do! Although it is nice and fun, since I can be like ‘Ana - the architect’ at home and make my parents ask: ‘why the hell did you design an orange desk, when we could have bought a wooden one for half the price?’ (hehehe, they’d never get why, since ‘Ana - the architect’ would have to quarrel with ‘Parents – the economists’ and those 2 modes just don’t talk!!! It’s just like using a wire in a wireless device – wires serve pretty well some sorts of devices, but the wireless ones just don’t see the need of the wire since they don’t need it! :P)

So I just left ‘Ana - the food lover’ at the restaurant and just replaced that one for ‘Ana - the architect’. ‘Ana - the architect’ is also ‘Ana - the bellyacher’ + ‘Ana - the lazy ’+ ‘Ana - the talkative’ + ‘Ana - the perfectionist’. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT IS TO BE IT ALL THAT AT THE SAME TIME! In fact, all of them together create the magnificent and one of my favorite characters: ‘Ana – the confused’ ^^.

Oki, the confusing-confused Ana must get back to work now! See you guys later! :)

------------------------------------------------------------------

*LATER*

Hi all! ‘Ana – the mega angry’ here! Argh, how many confused people are there in this world? Of all those confused people in this world I wonder how many of them are RIGHT NEXT TO ME!!! Gosh, it’s the 8th time I change this layout this week (no kidding!!!) and when I think it’s done, it needs to be made again!!! And it’s not like I make mistakes and I have to correct them! No! It’s because the client says: ‘ah, it’s cool, but I THINK I will add another piece of furniture here. Is it possible?’ What the heck do you answer? : Anyway, just sent it one more time to the client, and HOPEFULLY he’ll approve it this time! HA HA HA, I wish!!! :/

Oh, oh, ‘Ana – the mega angry’ has just met ‘Ana – the lazy’, since my work is done! :D And they just had a baby Ana, which is now called ‘Ana – the mega happy lazy’ ^^

Well, I guess this is all for today. I’ll end this post with ‘Ana – the mega happy lazy’, so that it turns into a happy post even if in the end ^^. I’m really keeping this blog updated, hey? I don’t know about you, but I’m proud of myself! :) See ya hopefully tomorrow, people. Stay well :-*

‘Pease die Ana
For as long as you’re here, we’re not
You make the sound of laughter
And sharpened nails seem softer’

2 in 1 - I'll post the pics when it ALLOWS ME TO!

NH: (Tuesday!!!) Kansas – Carry on my wayward son

Headache! That’s what’s on my mind right now :P. Maybe I should go backi to the doctor? But I’ve been taking my medicine correctly :/. I wonder if it has something to do with that stupid cyst. What cyst? Euh, I have a cyst in my brain (Nooo, calm down! It’s useless and totally lazy – just like me – so it won’t ever develop into something harmful. At least that’s what I wish! :/ But according to the doc – fine, I should listen to a 2nd opinion – it’s nothing serious, just a fluid bubble. Hehehe, maybe it’s from so much chewing gum :D). Hmm, anyway, the current headache has probably nothing to do with it. Ah, alright, I’ll blame it on work again! :D.

‘Carry on my wayward son
There'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more’

-------------------------------------------------------------

NH (Wednesday!!!): Mark Knopfler – What it is

Ahhh, what a Nice day. How are you people feeling? Everything alright? Things are fine here, all peaceful. Alright! I feel waaaay much better today ^^. We can never underestimate the power of a good chocolate and German class; boy, I was talkative :O.

21°C, February, almost carnival and it’s 9:50am and I’ve already worked a lot. I’m not bellyaching today; I’m having a really calm day, although there’s a lot of work to be done. It’s amazing how work is flowing today, I’m truly impressed.

Hmm, okay there’s probably a reason for it: I’ve been to one of those wonderful rituals last night. I’ve got a call in the afternoon and since I was in a kind of depressive mood, I’ve decided to go and try to relax a bit. A bit? Pff, I’m mega relaxed :P.

It was a celebration for Brighid, the Celtic goddess of fire, intuition and inspiration. The great mother, so to speak; the one who provides the milk. I’ve got there early, so I was able to give them a hand and prepare the stuff. We bought food (not as great as cooking, but still nice), prepared the fire, the chairs around the fire and the rain was there too! :P The ‘for-the-rain’ girl here had to seat under the rain, so it was perfect; just as if the sky was feeding me with its milk. The blessings started and we’ve lit candles and asked for peace. We’ve thanked for all of the food and for that special moment.

It’s a great feeling to be with a bunch of people who think just like you do, wherever you are and whatever you’re talking about. There’s a word that express this feeling in druidism (‘egregora’ - in Portuguese) and it puts us in synchronicity with each other and makes feelings bigger. The moment is usually very strong, inspiring and powerful. It’s exactly like being in church and praying while everyone else is doing the same. This awakes and raises ‘awen’, which is inspiration at its purest and deepest state, and suddenly we’re intoning powerful words in unison.

It’s usually the best part of the ritual, because that’s when you realize you’re only one little thingy to change the world, but if you take part in the whole the result is not the same. Along with others it becomes more powerful, but one more to help is always better and it does lift ‘awen’. Superb feeling to know you’re part of the whole and to know the whole only happens if you’re there! Just to give an example, maybe that’s why heavy metal gigs are just so wonderful ( /me remembers of all the head banging at Nightwish’s gig during ‘Slaying the Dreamer’).

That’s all for today. Stay well, dear people!

PS: ohhh, nice ‘coincidence’: ‘Ana’ starts with ‘A’ – ‘A’ comes from “Alpha’ in Greek – ‘Alpha’ wolf is the one that leads the pack – ‘Ana’ has a wolf inside – Ana’s wolf is an Alpha ^^
PS2: a couple of minutes before the ritual I was talking to my teacher about relationships and suddenly I dropped ‘ No, my bf is ‘invisible’, he lives in the ‘other world’ :P’ and he wonderfully replied: ‘Yet! ;)’.

Ah well, in the words of Mr. Knopfler:

‘The garrison sleeps in the citadel
With the ghosts and the ancient stones
High up on the parapet
A Scottish piper stands alone
And high on the wind
The highland drums begin to roll
And something from the past just comes
And stares into my soul’

*SIGH*

Time goes wherever you are :/

NH: Helloween – Windmill


Sometimes I have the feeling I’m not doing much for myself (sleeping doesn’t count, since I need to rest in order to be fine to do the rest of the stuff). Sometimes I have the feeling I’m working more than I should, getting more tired than what I should and wasting more energy than I need. The problem with the energy is that when I finally have the time, I don’t have enough energy left for the fun I’d like to have.

Maybe I should only live according to my wishes and work enough to save energy for myself? Any ideas of how I should do that?

I think life’s way too short to be wasted. Maybe we live so many times and we never remember our other lives and this way this life gets too short (but the whole thing is huge – many lives together lived as a huge one, only with intervals of time to make us forget about the previous ones).

I don’t know. All I know is I’m really tired, really wasting my energy and I have the impression it’s all for nothing. Well, if there’s a purpose for it, then it’s completely unknown. Question is: is this all about wasting time and realizing it in the end? Is there an end? Are we ever going to find out about it? Or is this post just another reflection of my going crazy and trying to find out about the meaning of life?... do you think I need a doctor? :/

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oki, I come from Mars and I couldn’t take it anymore; I had to share it with you guys! ^^ Seriously. What most people would die for, I despise. What’s wrong with me? :P I don’t know, but blue skies and beach can only look good in ‘one’ part of this world, imo: COLD COUNTRIES!!! When, on a weekend, there is a blue sky and cold weather, I feel truly depressed.

There’s only one thing that could make it way much worse: Sonata Arctica! Argh!!! What a wonderful band… Sonata Arctica +blue skies +wonderful weather (COLD!)= crying Ana! Yes, it’s so perfect that makes me want to cry, but only because that’s when I realize I don’t belong here. Those moments take me to places I love, where everything is as perfect as my head has determined it to be. And I don’t care about the grey weather! If it’s cold, grey and playing good music I’d appreciate it just as much. I wouldn’t cry though…

Those days are bringing back memories of a distant time when I was happy, only if for a while. Nothing would bring me down, I felt like Wonder Woman and I could rule the world! Heeh, backi to reality, those days are gone. I wonder whether they’ll come backi one day. I miss that so much right now! I miss some old friends, I miss my grandpas, I miss my old pets, I miss English lessons, I miss people, places, scents, tastes, colors, songs, and feelings I’m afraid will never come back. I even miss school, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! :P Oki, I need a doc! ^^. I even miss Vanessa Carlton and that nice song called ‘a thousand miles’, only because me and one of my best friends thought it would be a great song to celebrate our friendship. And apart from the song, I miss him too :( (love ya, Du).

Okay, time to call off the day.


‘Time goes wherever you are
Time is a guiding star
That shines all through your life
Makes you feel and move’


Tell me that past times won't die...