Time goes wherever you are :/

NH: Helloween – Windmill


Sometimes I have the feeling I’m not doing much for myself (sleeping doesn’t count, since I need to rest in order to be fine to do the rest of the stuff). Sometimes I have the feeling I’m working more than I should, getting more tired than what I should and wasting more energy than I need. The problem with the energy is that when I finally have the time, I don’t have enough energy left for the fun I’d like to have.

Maybe I should only live according to my wishes and work enough to save energy for myself? Any ideas of how I should do that?

I think life’s way too short to be wasted. Maybe we live so many times and we never remember our other lives and this way this life gets too short (but the whole thing is huge – many lives together lived as a huge one, only with intervals of time to make us forget about the previous ones).

I don’t know. All I know is I’m really tired, really wasting my energy and I have the impression it’s all for nothing. Well, if there’s a purpose for it, then it’s completely unknown. Question is: is this all about wasting time and realizing it in the end? Is there an end? Are we ever going to find out about it? Or is this post just another reflection of my going crazy and trying to find out about the meaning of life?... do you think I need a doctor? :/

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Oki, I come from Mars and I couldn’t take it anymore; I had to share it with you guys! ^^ Seriously. What most people would die for, I despise. What’s wrong with me? :P I don’t know, but blue skies and beach can only look good in ‘one’ part of this world, imo: COLD COUNTRIES!!! When, on a weekend, there is a blue sky and cold weather, I feel truly depressed.

There’s only one thing that could make it way much worse: Sonata Arctica! Argh!!! What a wonderful band… Sonata Arctica +blue skies +wonderful weather (COLD!)= crying Ana! Yes, it’s so perfect that makes me want to cry, but only because that’s when I realize I don’t belong here. Those moments take me to places I love, where everything is as perfect as my head has determined it to be. And I don’t care about the grey weather! If it’s cold, grey and playing good music I’d appreciate it just as much. I wouldn’t cry though…

Those days are bringing back memories of a distant time when I was happy, only if for a while. Nothing would bring me down, I felt like Wonder Woman and I could rule the world! Heeh, backi to reality, those days are gone. I wonder whether they’ll come backi one day. I miss that so much right now! I miss some old friends, I miss my grandpas, I miss my old pets, I miss English lessons, I miss people, places, scents, tastes, colors, songs, and feelings I’m afraid will never come back. I even miss school, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! :P Oki, I need a doc! ^^. I even miss Vanessa Carlton and that nice song called ‘a thousand miles’, only because me and one of my best friends thought it would be a great song to celebrate our friendship. And apart from the song, I miss him too :( (love ya, Du).

Okay, time to call off the day.


‘Time goes wherever you are
Time is a guiding star
That shines all through your life
Makes you feel and move’


Tell me that past times won't die...