We celebrate the change of seasons.

NP: Evergrey – Recreation Day


First: sorry for the delay in posting here.
Second: I hate the pressure and I’ve only done this blog to have a space where I could post and talk about anything I wanted, so the post only comes when there’s inspiration.
Third: I’m in love.

So, yes, I’m in love, but then it’s no news since I’m in love every week with someone new (apparently because it takes me 1 week to find out everyone who I fall for is actually already married or taken).

But it’s not that bad! I like to know people are married, happy and in love. It’s also great because it tests my patience to keep on trying to fall in love and it actually shows me how much love I have to give, which rules.

So I can say after ages trying to know who I am and what I’m doing here, after ages of unknown feelings I can say I’m a happy person! I didn’t find any answer to my questions, but then again I’m in love and who needs answers when one’s in love? I don’t, and to tell you the truth I don’t even want answers.

I’m in love with the fact I can be myself and if I don’t like it I can be someone totally new. I can be anything I want to, just because I want to. I can reinvent myself everyday and although it took me ages to find that out, I’m happy enough right now to have known I can actually do that.

I’ve started a brand new life a while ago and now it’s time to enjoy it. I’ve created ‘rituals’ to make me a better person and if I follow them alright, I’ll be able to be the one I want soon enough. But I don’t have the rush of months ago, I have a whole life ahead of me and I won’t take pressure as an issue to deal with anymore. I won’t take the pressure from no one; I won’t take it from myself. I’ll ban it from my life, as it’s been killing me and I’ve realized I don’t need to take that!

So I’m a happy person. I have a great life and I have wonderful people around me! I have a wonderful family and wonderful friends who always let me be who I want to be.

I’m in love with the new way of life I’ve created for myself. I’m in love with the things around me, with the things I have to do and the things I know I can do! I’m in love with my city! I’m in love with this baby breeze that blows on me in the morning just because it’s autumn. I’m in love with the leaves falling, and I’m in love with the reason why they fall. I’m in love with the magic around the trees and in love with the dead days that come and go. Grey, cold and static days… I’m in love this season.

Whoever starred at me one night and created this idea in my mind that I should search for myself, I just don’t know, but I’m in love with him too. I’m in love with all I’ve learnt in the past years, with everything and everyone I’ve met and with what they can bring for me. I’m in love with what I can bring for them.

I think I was born like my mother, too sensitive. I used to make fun of her, poor thing, always crying for everything and any reason. Every little sunset would make her cry. Every new cousin born would make her cry. Every year gone by would make her cry.

Today I understand it all. Today I’m proud to say I’m like her and all those things do make me cry too. I don’t make fun anymore, but not because I’m like her… I don’t make fun anymore because now I understand her. And it’s a beautiful reason: it’s just because she wants to. And the world around her can make fun and everything, but she doesn’t give a damn. And I’m in love with the fact she doesn’t give a damn.

To look at everyone inside the eyes and have something to say. To say it; it’s something else. To keep what you have to say inside could cause you a cancer… to cry and let it all out is priceless: 1st: because you did what you had to do, 2nd: because you don’t give a damn about the people around, 3rd: because you tell the person what you want anyways and the person gets the meaning either way!

To have the perfect landscape and the perfect song at the same time. To match them. I can’t take the pressure, so I usually cry when both things happen at the same time. I’d hate to be blind and deaf… it would take away the pleasure I have to cry when I have the world to say and no one to listen, and I’d definitely grow a cancer inside of me that way.

That is why we cry when there are people around. That is why I’m in love with everything I am right now. That is why the leaves fall and the sky goes grey and the breeze goes cold. Because words can only do harm, as Depeche Mode would say, and because even if they don’t, people might not listen to you anyway. That’s why I’m in love with the moment. This is why I’m in love with the world.

Because we don’t need to explain anything, we don’t need to force anyone, we don’t need to make it all right, and most of all, we don’t need to be perfect. That is the only reason why we celebrate the change of seasons.


‘One step at the time
Small progress seems futile
But is as valuable as life

I'm engaged to longing
With sorrow as the ring
Controlling me, denying me

My every morning is in every way
The beginning of a recreation day

Time heals, but still the mourning reigns
I still breath when the loss reminds me again
I am here
Life is fear & sorrow's all I know

Am I in dept cause so it seems
But what I owe
I don't know
Devoured by guilt & cursed beyond control

My every morning is in every way
The beginning of a recreation day’