Spring

NP: Sonata Arctica - 'Shy'

Hi all... so I left you all here in the end of autumn only to return in spring (south hemisphere, that is!). Hehe, sorry, I was totally out having fun with WINTEEEEEEEEER! =D Yeah, as if! =/ It was more like a second summer, so it didn't make me very happy. =(

I'm totally fed up with this weather, even though today is a good day. We should all be weather independent though, just like that movie with wonderful Sean Connery *speaks his name in a Scottish way* where he controls the weather from like... London! =P That's exactly what I'd do, alright!

So after all this time, what would I have to say? Well, a couple of things, actually. My life has changed pretty much and I'm a new super-woman, MWAHAHAAA. I'll tell you the things you can know (cause there will always be things left unsaid by me, as I really don't bother, and don't want to bother).

1st: I'm no longer on vacation! Aye, I'm back to work, alright. I don't know if you guys will recall this, but I used to work in a small office before I started at my last job - HELL - very close to my house. I could go home for lunch, it was a 9h-18h working hours, fuel would last forever, my boss was the coolest in the world and yet I decided to trade it for HELL for the sake of the world's biggest disgrace: money!

Alright, I paid the price GOOD! Got a lot of money, enough to stay indoors for years, but it took my health, fun, trust in people, life and good mood away. Not nice! It brought tears to my eyes almost every day, it made me feel miserable, took my time with my family away and all the money wasn't worth it at all.

I did meet some awesome people there, and I did learn quite a few things too. I don't regret going there for a while; what I regret is having left the previous job!

But the wheel turns and the cycle strikes again, and again, and all over again, and last week my dear ex-ex boss called me to ask me to work with her again. Yes, the great job before HELL. Close to home, lunch at home, fuel in the tank for like ever! And now I earn as much as I did in HELL! How happy am I? =)

2nd: My health kicks ass nowadays! I've lost a lot of weight, I tread 40 minutes a day before going to work, I sleep better, I eat better, my body functions better and I can't be happier about it as well.

3rd: I've cut down some people from my life and it made my life flow in ways I didn't expect. I've traded all of those people to other people, old ones, people I haven't seen in ages and that are brought to me by the cycle again. I'm so thankful to the cycle! How can we let some friendships go just like that? Well, I'm happy those friendships aren't dead, and I could get them all back. I'm happy to have them back into my life. =)

4th: My family and I are much closer today, as I had the time to get together with them again, love and feel loved. I swear I'll never let time break me from seeing them again. They're the most important thing in my life, so fuck the time and whatever comes with it!

5th: I'm loving the changes and I feel like there's a lot more to come. They always come to put a question mark above your head, BUT this question mark always happens to put a smile right next to it. I've changed clothes, style, friends, music, colours, feelings, thoughts, mind, behaviour, favourite ice cream flavour and favourite chocolate. And I'll change a thing a day to keep me in the mood.

Well, this is all about cycles and how they manage to create situations, similar to previous ones, to make you feel better. That's why sometimes you're up, and sometimes you're down. Today nobody loves you, tomorrow you'll be the life of the party, but in the end none of this matters... What really matters is that you have to make peace with yourself. You have to love yourself enough to be able to reject (and accept!) so many offers, people, situations, things that in the end will just be like... there, taking your space! They're not doing you any good, but they're YOURS, and they should matter. But they don't.

So my advice is, let things go! If they don't, MAKE THEM GO! There's so much in your life that you don't need; so much that is holding you back... you waste opportunities because of them! You waste YOUR LIFE for them. When all that matters really is you.

May spring come and change even more. I might even leave my shyness behind. Who knows, it might even work. And may it bring not only the bees, but the honey with them. =)

I'm sort of back. Only brand-new.

PS: Also, here goes a huge MWAAAHHH to my dearest Ness, in the other side of the world. May you have a kickass spring and even more wonderful seasons ahead. Happy birthday and have a great day, Ness. Wish I were there to give you a huge hug and eat a piece of cake with you. =) Well, that's 2 things we'll have to do when we meet! Love ya, Mu-Who girl (in a non-lesbian way! =P)! =-***

"I can see how you are beautiful, can you feel my eyes on you,
I'm shy and turn my head away
Working late in diner Citylite, I see that you get home alright
Make sure that you can't see me, hoping you will see me

Sometimes I'm wondering why you look me and you blink your eye
You can't be acting like my Dana
I see you in Citylite diner serving all those meals and then
I see reflections of me in your eye, oh please

Talk to me, show some pity
You touch me in many, many ways
But I'm shy can't you see

Obsessed by you, your looks, well, anyway "I would any day die for you",
I write on paper and erased away
Still I sit in diner Citylite, drinking coffee and reading lies
Turn my head and I can see you, could that really be you

Sometimes I'm wondering why you look me and you blink your eye
You can't be acting like my Dana?
I see your beautiful smile and I would like to run away from
Reflections of me in your eyes, oh please

Talk to me, show some pity
You touch me in many, many ways
But I'm shy can't you see

I see, can't have you, can't leave you there 'cos I must sometimes see you
But I don't understand how you can keep me in chains
And every waken hour, I feel your taking power

From me and I can't leave
Repeating the scenery over again

Sometimes I'm wondering why you look me and you blink your eye
You can't be acting like my Dana?
I see your beautiful smile and I would like to run away from
Reflections of me in your eyes, oh please

Talk to me, show some pity
You touch me in many, many ways
But I'm shy can't you
I'm shy can't you
I'm shy can't you see"