The crossroads within.

NP: Whitesnake – Don’t Fade Away

Took me a lot of time, songs, people, jobs, seasons, feelings and so much more to get here and realize there’s more to life between the lands and the skies, light and dark, happy and sad, than our vain philosophy.

There’s a meaning to the moment, there’s a meaning to everything we live and it’s all about the balance we keep between things.

It’s like standing in the middle of a crossroads, seeing everything happening on many different roads, and not being able to move. We just hang there, watching. And it should be scary.

But there’s beauty in waiting. There’s something grand in just standing there, watching all the madness that surrounds you.

If there was a way to explain it, I’d say it evolves from patience. But not really. It also comes from peace and being centred within. It comes from realizing everything has a time and place to happen, and if it hasn’t happened yet, it’s because it’s not the moment.

Because there’s more to life than words and explanations. Because an image is worth indeed more than a thousand words. Because everything we wish for comes in the shape of happiness, but not always do we reach it. Because nothing perfect ever happens without an effort. Because the waiting should be felt and hard, and there should be growth out of it. And if there’s not, it is not worth it, nor recognized.

That’s what winter’s for. Ponder, always. Consider the weather, the facts passing you by, consider your mood and will. Consider whatever feeling comes to surface; consider the beat of your heart when you think about what you want. Consider your breathing. Consider all the roads that lead to you, and consider where each of them comes from.

Consider the wind and its directions… consider your thoughts. Consider what’s above and below, and all of their colours.

Consider what you have to leave behind, and what you’ll achieve. Consider every change that’s implied in getting what you want. Consider, more than anything else, that this might not be for good. Ponder. For longer, again and over again.

And when you’re standing there in the crossroads, watching all the madness around you, after pondering for so long, realize it’s just a moment. Everything is happening around you and even if it all seems twisted, find the peace inside yourself. That’s the only way you’ll find to be standing there without being harmed.

Because you’ll never be alone. You’ll never live one thing at a time, it will happen altogether, making you feel there’s billions of you inside trying to get out in so many different ways… because you’re not just one. You’re so many. Take that into consideration, and when you do, right there, that’s the time when you can be in the middle of turmoil and yet you’ll be in peace within yourself and all that chaos will seem serene and it will change everything. That is when you see the beauty in chaos.

Maybe you’ll never leave the crossroads, but it won’t matter anymore. Once you’ve achieved that state of mind, you can be anywhere, and you’ll always feel home and in peace and it’ll always seem to be the most peaceful scene.

“As I stand at the crossroad,
I see the sun sinking low
With my cross of indecision,
I can't tell which way to go

Now I have seen the seven wonders
And I have sailed the seven seas,
I've walked and talked with angels,
And danced all night with gypsy queens

All in all it's been a rocky road,
Twists and turns along the way
But, I still pray for tomorrow,
All my hopes, my dreams
Don't fade away, don't fade away

I have painted many portraits,
Memories of love and pain,
Though cut down by life's deceptions
I found the strength to start again

All in all it's been a rocky road,
Twists and turns along the way
But, I still pray for tomorrow,
All my hopes, my dreams
Don't fade away, don't fade away

Heaven help a man
Trying to make up his mind,
With the darkness closing in,
I feel I'm running out of time

Shine a light for me,
Help me find the way to go,
And take me where I've never been before

And so I stand at the crossroad,
Watching the sun sinking low
With my cross of indecision,
Trying to find the way to go

All in all it's been a rocky road,
Twists and turns along the way,
But, I still pray for tomorrow
All my hopes, my dreams
Don't fade away”

Aaaaaaaand....... GO!

*Sometimes I feel like I’m the trapped one. But that’s ok, as it cheers me up that it isn’t him.*

NP: Alice Cooper - Might As Well Be On Mars

Hello(weeeeeen) people who come and go. =D Must warn you that I’m in a terribly cheeky mode. I’ll be so annoying! =O But it’s my blog, so I can be whatever I want, HA! ^^

So many changes going on right now that I only have eyes for them, and that means I don’t have eyes for the blog and that’s why I haven’t been posting here. =( So I’d like to apologize! =( NOT! It’s my blog, so I can do whatever I want, HA! ^^ Yeah, yeah, it’ll be a hard post, I tells ya! ^^

I’ve been doing great, though. 2007 is showing to be an awesome year and the best in years! I’m soooooo excited, so happy, so cheerful, so hanging on and waiting for stuff to happen! =P Well, I can’t do it all! =O So I’ll just be happy for now, and leave the ‘non-hanging’ state for later. ^^ Cause I might not even be here, mind you! =O I might as well be on Maaaaaaars… You can’t seeeeeeeeeeeeeeee me… and that’s why I get to go ‘BOO’ every now and then on y’all! \m/

One of the coolest things about this year is that I’m the most self confident I’ve ever been! YAY! It’s due to a lot of things, situations, people, films, songs, bands, blablabla, but most of all due to MYSELF! Yeah! Cause I own this blog and it was time I’d be self confident, as it rules! HA! Annoying, yeah, I know! =DDD

Because of that (the self confidence, that is), I now own my own architecture office! I love ‘own my own’, awww! ^^

That’s right. My very own Archi office! And why’s that? Because I can! I’m sooooooooooo awesome that I found out that I can actually be a complete architect and I can actually do it on my own! =D But the most awesome of it all is that I figured that out by doing it on my own and ruling at it! =O

Omg, I see it now! It’s way too annoying! =O =D

Well, trick is, self confidence rules and all, blablabla HOORAY!, but I’m still very afraid of it all so I’m pondering before I actually do stuff. This decision about the office took me AGES, different groups, time, money, failures, maaaany mistakes, inspiration and WILL TO MAKE IT WORK! It wasn’t decided over night, and I’m glad it wasn’t. But I’m a taurean, so I DO need time to think. A lot! And then re-think! =P

BUT, that’s just at work… and relationships! HAHAHAHA! Yeah… I do hope my new office lasts more than my falling in love with people! =P THAT usually lasts for 1 week HAHAHAHA. No, don’t think that! =O It’s not because I’m a futile person and soon fall out of love. =( It’s because I always find out the guys are married after a week or so! =P

Talking about guys… Tony Kakko is married too! HA! That leaves me to either Tuomas Holopainen, or Viggo Mortensen. =S Know why? BECAUSE THERE IS NO FUCKING BACK UP OF HOT PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD, OMG! I sooo wanted a Johnny Depp clone. =(

But then I would also be happy with a Kristoffer Gildenlöw (or a Daniel G. – I love the genius kinda people ^^), a Michael Vartan, a Kenneth Olsen and soooo many others! But I’d really be fulfilled with a JD. =)

Since he’s happily married, with a child and I wish him all the luck and happiness in the world, I think between Tutu and Viggo, I’ll decide on Viggo (yeah, like he’s “for sale on a store near you! =D” =P).

Well, Tutu is hot, but Ness wants him now, so I’ll leave him for her (yeah, like I can ‘leave’ him for someone… although I did get him for sale on a store near me! =O). So since he’s not that appealing for me anymore (still a hot genius, though! \m/) and since he’s Ness’ now, I’ll get Viggo! My teacher ‘left’ him for me, after we agreed I’d leave Al Pacino for her! ^^ Aw, such a cute couple! And they even have their b-days almost in the same day, aww!

But enough about my teacher! It’s my blog, so I get to talk about whoever I want, HA! I’m mastering this skill as I write, hihi. ^^

So about Viggo… nar, I won’t talk about him. =( I just really really want you to know my b-day is soon, so if you really really want to make me happy, I’d really really really really really reeeeeeeeeeeaaly REALLY! would love to get a Viggo for my b-day! =D Because I’m sick of Eggi’s innocence… Now I’m up for some hot stuff, alright! \m/ And that’s it! I’m not talking anything else about him anymore! =P Know why? Because this is my blog, and I talk about whoever I want! HA! Hahahahahaha… oki, I’ll try to quit it already! =D

Moving to the next topic… my new digi camera! I bought one, yes! =O After aaaaages of fancying one and never finding the perfect one for my taste (cause I’m a taurean, and taureans have EXCELLENT taste and only accept the best of best, HA! *that’s also the reason why I don’t get a bf! Nobody is ever that good. =( Which is cool, though, cause now I’ll have Viggo! And he is THAAAAAT good! =D*), I found it for half the price some place in ‘Sampadrizzlecity’ and it’s awesome? =O I’m so in love with it. It IS perfect! =D Plus, I might even post here more often, omg, that is such great news, isn’t it? =O Of course it is! This is my kickass blog and blablabla HOORAY! Oki, I’m almost there! ^^

So from now on, too many things to look for! Too many changes coming my way and too much happiness to bear with it all. A lot of things will get better, because changes are always for the best. And I’m here preparing for them all! May they come and change me too! Not too much, because I’m already awesome. HA! Hahahahahaha, I just can’t believe this post! =D It should be deleted, as I’m so not a snob! =D I hope you guys understand it was just a joking kinda post, this is not the real me! ^^ Even though this IS my own blog and all! =P

But then, as I and Alice said in the beginning of this post, it might not be me after all typing this here! =O For I might as well be on Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaars… AND IT BETTER BE COLD!!! HA!

“The city streets are wet with rain tonight
Taxi drivers swerve from lane to lane
A lonely guitar man playin’ down the hall
Midnight blues comin’ through the walls

I tried to call you on the telephone
I left it off the hook
Just to hear it ring
You told me you were better off alone
I never knew that tears could stain

I’m on the roof and I’m starin’ at the stars
Lookin’ down at all the cars
I can see you
In the window of your favourite corner bar
But to reach you is just too far
And I might as well be on mars

The city seems so old and grey and beat
It closes in and makes me wanna suffocate
And you just live across the street
But that’s a billion miles away

You’ve turned my world into a dark and lonely place
Like a planet lost in space, my light is fadin’
Id cross the universe to be right where you are
But I’m right in your backyard
And I might as well be on mars

I might as well be on mars
You cant see me
I might as well be the man on the moon
You cant hear me
Oh, can you feel me so close
And yet so far
Baby, I might as well be on mars

Baby, I cant fly
If I could Id come down to ya
Maybe I should try

I’m on the roof and I’m starin’ at the stars
Lookin’ down at all the cars
I can see you
In the window of your favourite corner bar
But to reach is just too far
And I might as well be on mars”

BOO!

NP: Thunderstone - 'Tool of the Devil'

BOO!

Aye, me's backi! Not for long, though, just for a couple of minutes (that is, till I finish this post =P).

So how have you all been? I hope well. I've been quite alright myself, and this is probably the reason why I haven't been posting.

Nar, the reason why I haven't been posting is this stupid tag board, which asks me for an nonexistent password or something and it pisses me off to see this 'log in' screen in front of me... so I’ve been avoiding this blog, alright. Guess you all have, HAHAHAHA.

So one more year is gone...

I'm so excited! Odd years always are great to me, so I'm looking forward to 2007. What really amazed me, though, is 2006. It's an even year and yet I don't recall having a better year than this one in my whole life.

I don't quite know what happened, but I lived this year my way, and it all came out great.

I've met cool people, I've stayed at home with my family and pets, I've understood the meaning of 'watching' and I've had my fun.

I've watched movies, read books and talked to people who changed my life. I've listened to songs that changed my life. i've even eaten food that changed my life. =P

My awareness of how things happen and why increased in unexpected ways. the idea I had of people changed completely. The concept of family and friends have other meanings to me today. And I thank most of it to the weather... which also changed me in really weird ways.

I've barely worked and earnt money this year, and I couldn't be happier about it. I've only done what I felt like doing, and my judgement of what is really important in life was totally right.

Because I almost didn't earn any money, I've only attended 2 gigs this year (U2 and Edguy), and both of them changed me in wonderful ways. I'd actually like to take a pause to thank Bono and Eggi, hahaha *pause to thank Bono & Eggi*. ^^

I've visited only one new place this year, and it also changed me completely.

The people I met changed me completely. Some showed me that I can actually find wonderful people at the other side of the world who can be there (and sometimes here!) for me forever. Real friends.

Some showed I cannot judge them from the 1st impression I have of them, and that I always need more time to fully trust them. Or not. So patience is a virtue, and it was probably the best lesson I've learnt this year.

I've focused all of my energy into finding the cure for all my problems within myself. And *drum roll* I've achieved it!

The secrets and mysteries I've solved are too many, and I'd like to thank the one and only for showing me my way. Ladies & Gents give it up to: MYSELF! HAHAHAHA.

Yeah, it may sound a bit snobbish in a way, but I owe it all to myself and my persistence. I've built up a whole trust system in my mind, and I trust it so much all the good things are happening now.

It's weird though. 2006 was the year of Saturn and somehow I feel like I did manage to face it the best way. I'm probably the person who's most afraid of Saturn in the world, but looking back now, it was awesome to have met it. =)

NOW! If 2006, an even year, was ruled by Saturn, a cranky old guy, 2007 will be ruled by Jupiter.

OMG! =D If that's not good, then I've lost track of what's good and what's not. =D

2007 has everything to rule. Jupiter is a happy fellow who tried to cheer everything and everyone up. It also tried to take things to the extreme, so you can have either massive fun, or massive sorrow. But let's stay optimistic and keep positive thoughts. =) It'll rule, alright!

So for the ones who had a crappy year: cheer up and thank it anyway. It gave you lessons which should not be forgotten, and experience is always the thing to count. 2007 will be way much better! =) For the ones who had a great 2006, thank it even more and PARTY ON, GARTH; PARTY ON, WAYNE! 2007 will rule on! =D

Now, for the negative and pessimistic people: your life is exactly the way you want it to be. If you cheer up and see it differently, it'll begin to change. You just have to trust it.

So I'll leave you again now. =) Hope you have a wonderful X-mas, an awesome New Year and have some more faith in yourselves. You CAN actually do better. Just don't exaggerate in anything, as that's Jupiter's trick. But do enjoy yourselves and try to see the good and fun side of everything. =)

See you people next year. And until then, enjoy all the food of those festive days. =)

Here goes a huge 'thank you' for all the experiences in 2006. And here goes a 'opened-armed-Welcome' to 2007. May it kick the hell out of us all!

"I am a man without a heart
Without a soul
I'll heal it for you
If you'll play my role

Come closer if you dare
I will show you the way
Of pleasure and of pain
I'm the light of your day

Walk through the fire we've made
Over the seas of our times
Higher, we're all in sublime

I'll be here by you side forever
I'll shadow your steps, again and again
We'll be changing this scene together
Through the joy and the pain
'Coz I am the Tool of the Devil

You'll try to stay on path
Try to keep direction
While the voices in your head
Whispering deception

You're standing in the middle
Don't know what to do
I'll give you the answers
To get you through

Walk through the fire we've made
Over the seas of our times
Higher, we're all in sublime

I'll be here by you side forever
I'll shadow your steps, again and again
We'll be changing this scene together
Through the joy and the pain
'Coz I am the Tool of the Devil

Tool of the Devil"

Spring

NP: Sonata Arctica - 'Shy'

Hi all... so I left you all here in the end of autumn only to return in spring (south hemisphere, that is!). Hehe, sorry, I was totally out having fun with WINTEEEEEEEEER! =D Yeah, as if! =/ It was more like a second summer, so it didn't make me very happy. =(

I'm totally fed up with this weather, even though today is a good day. We should all be weather independent though, just like that movie with wonderful Sean Connery *speaks his name in a Scottish way* where he controls the weather from like... London! =P That's exactly what I'd do, alright!

So after all this time, what would I have to say? Well, a couple of things, actually. My life has changed pretty much and I'm a new super-woman, MWAHAHAAA. I'll tell you the things you can know (cause there will always be things left unsaid by me, as I really don't bother, and don't want to bother).

1st: I'm no longer on vacation! Aye, I'm back to work, alright. I don't know if you guys will recall this, but I used to work in a small office before I started at my last job - HELL - very close to my house. I could go home for lunch, it was a 9h-18h working hours, fuel would last forever, my boss was the coolest in the world and yet I decided to trade it for HELL for the sake of the world's biggest disgrace: money!

Alright, I paid the price GOOD! Got a lot of money, enough to stay indoors for years, but it took my health, fun, trust in people, life and good mood away. Not nice! It brought tears to my eyes almost every day, it made me feel miserable, took my time with my family away and all the money wasn't worth it at all.

I did meet some awesome people there, and I did learn quite a few things too. I don't regret going there for a while; what I regret is having left the previous job!

But the wheel turns and the cycle strikes again, and again, and all over again, and last week my dear ex-ex boss called me to ask me to work with her again. Yes, the great job before HELL. Close to home, lunch at home, fuel in the tank for like ever! And now I earn as much as I did in HELL! How happy am I? =)

2nd: My health kicks ass nowadays! I've lost a lot of weight, I tread 40 minutes a day before going to work, I sleep better, I eat better, my body functions better and I can't be happier about it as well.

3rd: I've cut down some people from my life and it made my life flow in ways I didn't expect. I've traded all of those people to other people, old ones, people I haven't seen in ages and that are brought to me by the cycle again. I'm so thankful to the cycle! How can we let some friendships go just like that? Well, I'm happy those friendships aren't dead, and I could get them all back. I'm happy to have them back into my life. =)

4th: My family and I are much closer today, as I had the time to get together with them again, love and feel loved. I swear I'll never let time break me from seeing them again. They're the most important thing in my life, so fuck the time and whatever comes with it!

5th: I'm loving the changes and I feel like there's a lot more to come. They always come to put a question mark above your head, BUT this question mark always happens to put a smile right next to it. I've changed clothes, style, friends, music, colours, feelings, thoughts, mind, behaviour, favourite ice cream flavour and favourite chocolate. And I'll change a thing a day to keep me in the mood.

Well, this is all about cycles and how they manage to create situations, similar to previous ones, to make you feel better. That's why sometimes you're up, and sometimes you're down. Today nobody loves you, tomorrow you'll be the life of the party, but in the end none of this matters... What really matters is that you have to make peace with yourself. You have to love yourself enough to be able to reject (and accept!) so many offers, people, situations, things that in the end will just be like... there, taking your space! They're not doing you any good, but they're YOURS, and they should matter. But they don't.

So my advice is, let things go! If they don't, MAKE THEM GO! There's so much in your life that you don't need; so much that is holding you back... you waste opportunities because of them! You waste YOUR LIFE for them. When all that matters really is you.

May spring come and change even more. I might even leave my shyness behind. Who knows, it might even work. And may it bring not only the bees, but the honey with them. =)

I'm sort of back. Only brand-new.

PS: Also, here goes a huge MWAAAHHH to my dearest Ness, in the other side of the world. May you have a kickass spring and even more wonderful seasons ahead. Happy birthday and have a great day, Ness. Wish I were there to give you a huge hug and eat a piece of cake with you. =) Well, that's 2 things we'll have to do when we meet! Love ya, Mu-Who girl (in a non-lesbian way! =P)! =-***

"I can see how you are beautiful, can you feel my eyes on you,
I'm shy and turn my head away
Working late in diner Citylite, I see that you get home alright
Make sure that you can't see me, hoping you will see me

Sometimes I'm wondering why you look me and you blink your eye
You can't be acting like my Dana
I see you in Citylite diner serving all those meals and then
I see reflections of me in your eye, oh please

Talk to me, show some pity
You touch me in many, many ways
But I'm shy can't you see

Obsessed by you, your looks, well, anyway "I would any day die for you",
I write on paper and erased away
Still I sit in diner Citylite, drinking coffee and reading lies
Turn my head and I can see you, could that really be you

Sometimes I'm wondering why you look me and you blink your eye
You can't be acting like my Dana?
I see your beautiful smile and I would like to run away from
Reflections of me in your eyes, oh please

Talk to me, show some pity
You touch me in many, many ways
But I'm shy can't you see

I see, can't have you, can't leave you there 'cos I must sometimes see you
But I don't understand how you can keep me in chains
And every waken hour, I feel your taking power

From me and I can't leave
Repeating the scenery over again

Sometimes I'm wondering why you look me and you blink your eye
You can't be acting like my Dana?
I see your beautiful smile and I would like to run away from
Reflections of me in your eyes, oh please

Talk to me, show some pity
You touch me in many, many ways
But I'm shy can't you
I'm shy can't you
I'm shy can't you see"

What DOESN'T piss you off?

NP: Chris Caffery – ‘Pisses me off’


Hey all!
How are you, people? I’m alright, just having some fun while I can. ^^
Two days in a row, how cool is that? =P

Well, I know this isn’t a reeeeeal post, but since most things lately piss me off, I’ve decided to leave this song here to always remind me of those really cool feelings. Oki, those are lyrics only, but I’ve been thinking a lot about them on my spare time.

This is my new favorite song (thanks Du!) and I can’t stop playing it. In fact it’s a very true song. If you just stop to think of the many things that piss you off, this is probably what you’ll end up writing:

‘Daytime pisses me off, it starts me off on a wrong foot rate.
And nighttime pisses me off, it puts me back to the fucking place.
And the face that pisses me off, she leaves a sour after taste.
You see my life pisses me off, I'm fucking sick of the human race.
It's killing me, it's killing me, it's killing me, it's killing me...

Everything pisses me off, from your cue ball head to the grateful dead.
And the rap star pisses me off, they bitch and moan. bang! bang! you're dead.
And the TV pisses me off, reality is a joke to me,
Cause my life pisses me off, a complete disgrace, this human race.
It's killing me, it's killing me, it's killing me, it's killing me...

Oh, it's hard to survive. and nothing's gonna help ya.
Please, I beg to survive. but nothing's gonna help me. T
he computer pisses me off, it rules my life this cyber wife.
And e-mail pisses me off, your faceless shit cuts like a knife.
And Starbucks pisses me off, 5 bucks a cup, what the fuck is up?
Cause my life pisses me off, I'm just a pawn in the human race.
It's killing me, it's killing me, it's killing me, it's killing me...

The terrorist pisses me off, with his fucking beard, the king of the weird.
And the war it pisses me off, the prices rise, the market fries.
But the protests piss me off, you raise your sign and fucking whine.
This life it pisses me off, a compluckin' disgrace this human race.
It's killing me, it's killing me, it's killing me, it's killing me...

Oh, it's hard to survive, and nothing's gonna help ya.
Please, I beg to survive, but nothing's gonna help me now.

Here's the war, raise the sign.
Little pussy don't like it.
Freedom of speech, not a crime.
Many lives were lost to get here.
Land of the free, home of the brave.
You all will send us to our graves in time...

This life pisses me off! this life pisses me off! this life pisses me off!
This life pisses me off! this life pisses me off!

Because my life pisses me off, it may be time to up and run.
But running pisses me off, I'd rather stay and have some fun.
Because my life pisses you off, it feeds my anger happily.
Cause happiness pisses me off, wipe your smile off your face fucking human race.
It's killing me, it's killing me, it's killing me, it's killing me...

Does your life piss you off? Does your life piss you off?
Does your life piss you off? My life pisses me off!‘

When stressed out...

NP: http://www.jonnydigital.com/temp/loituma__.swf

Hi.
I'm stressed out and I just have too much time on my hands.
Bye.

„
YA TA TA PARRI DI PARRI GON
LAN DIC TORRI DI LAN DICS TAN DU
LA DIBI DABI DA LA DU LABI DUPI
LAN CURRY GAN GUKE AN GIVE AGAN KU
ARRA TA TA AY DIBE DABE DIM
LA BE RITZ TAN DIN LAN DE LAN DO
ABARRI PA TA PARRI PARRI BARRI
BIRRI BIRRI BIRRI STAN DE LAN DO
YA BARRIR LA STE LAN DE YA DO WA DA
BARRU BIRRU BIRRU BIRRU VURRU YU VU
BARRIS DA LI LAS DE LAN DO VA DA
GADA GADA GADU DU DEY YA DO “

Plant a tree and get a bird for free...

NP: Nightwish – ‘Away’


Back to my normal routine, I am.

I have no idea how things come up to what they do, but this weekend things proved to be really wonderful to me. I had so many mixed up feelings that I don’t even know how to explain them. In fact, I won’t.

Good Friday, a day to celebrate cod and other fishes in the Brazilian cuisine. If it wasn’t for the fact that I hate fish, I’d celebrate it too, even though I’m not a Christian. So for me it’s just another Omelet day. There are of course other things we shouldn’t do on a Good Friday, such as make noise, work, and other cool things.

What I really hate about Good Friday is that the rest of my family (actually not even the great majority), celebrates it, when I don’t. So it’s as if I’m the only one breaking the rules and eating meat, meowing at the cat, listening to Evergrey and being annoying.

So we got to my grannies’ city and I went with my dad and uncle straight to the farm to check the details to plant my beloved trees. It was a nice lil’ trip to the farm; pleasant and not as hot as usual. It was already around 18:00 and it was getting dark quick, so we had to do it all quick.

When we got to the farm the first thing we spotted was a black cat near the house, MWAHAHAAAA! On a Good Friday it can only mean luck (for a pagan, hehe). After that, this whole trip to the countryside was just full of mystery and signals, which must be studied in detail.

For a start, I felt a huge chill when I entered the farm, as if my grandfather was there too. That would be 3 generations of the Rampim family, all Earth signs. Yep, I’m pretty sure it was him, and he did manage to grab a drop of tear from me and give me a smile right after it.

The house in the farm is at a higher place and I had decided that I wanted to plant the trees next to the river, which is at a lower piece of ground. Nice spot, we picked. As soon as we agreed on the right spot to plant them, 3 black birds flew by, as if they were agreeing with the spot too and giving their blessing.

So it wasn’t that easy to make this plantation! First the spot we’ve picked was full of bushes and scrubs, so we had to clean that first. Then my uncle said we should also make a boundary so that the cattle and the horses wouldn’t damage and eat the trees. So we came up with the idea of hiring a man to do that, as it would be too much work and we wouldn’t be able to handle it in just one holiday.

So that was it, it was settled! We needed a guy to put a fence and we’d be fine and able to take off the bushes, make holes and plant the trees. So we started figuring out where to plant them in the area we’ve chosen and a yellow butterfly passed by and led us to the middle of the circle, and landed there. When we reached it, it flew away and we found the centre of the circle where it was. We marked it, got happy and noticed a black ox starring at us. He stopped starring at us, as if he was just calling our attention, and looked at a mare. That’s when we realized the mare had a swelling on her belly, and my uncle soon said ‘Oh, she was bitten by a snake!!!’, and we all went ‘=S, okay where is it???’, but the snake never appeared (thank Gods!).

So that was it. Place found and we figured out how it would be, so we went back home to come back early the next day and start our cool planting project. And that was a good Friday gone.

So Saturday was an early start! I had a terrible night and didn’t sleep well at all because I, mom and dad slept in the same room and my mom was coughing all night. It was not a hot night, but that room was hot and it made it even worse for me to sleep. Sleeping troubles aside, Saturday started.

We hired this old man, wonderful person, to put a fence around the circle. Jose was such a sweetie. When we asked if he would take the job, he said ‘of course I will.’ And it was Easter weekend! I just loved that will to make things nice for the others, that sense of friendship that no one has anymore nowadays. Such an old man, such a strength and such a will to live and feel alive! So he needed half a day to make that fence and he did a great job!

We left the farm and went for a celebration at an aunt’s house in another city. The entire family was there and it was the farewell party for my cousin who’s going to spend one year in the USA. Suddenly one of my cousins started crying, and I had to follow her… next thing we see is everybody was crying! Damn, Madonna was right! The power of goodbye is a hell of a huge thing! =P

So after that (and a lot of food) we went back to the farm to mark the holes on the ground. That was done quite fast and we soon could go back home and rest. There was a black cat at my granny’s house too, which kicked ass again!

It was a pleasant night full of stars and a full moon. My cousin had his telescope there and we were watching Saturn and its rings and it felt so perfect in a harvest time such as this autumn.

So I laid on the hammock and watched the stars for a while longer, feeling this wonderful cold breeze from wherever it was coming, and this U2 song I love so much (With or Without You) was playing in the middle of the city square. Suddenly my aunt’s cat rubbed herself on my hand and I cuddled it while watching the stars, listening to U2 and feeling the cold breeze… Awesome night.

So Sunday was there already. Another bad night sleep and I was waking up early again! This time to go milk the cow with my other uncle and my 2 little cousins (my cousin’s kids, actually). It was fun as always and I was even wearing my jacket, so cold it was! Awesome morning! And awesome hot milk straight from the cow to make us feel warm enough. =)

Back to the farm with uncle and dad for the last bit of this plantation project. It was a grey day, with a little bit of rain at times. Inside one of the stumps that were holding the fence there was a tiny and muddy tree frog hidden and we made it jump out of there before it got hurt. It was so cute and tiny I could have cuddled it.

But the best thing of the day was definitely when we finished making the holes in the ground and placed the trees beside the holes where they’d be planted. We finished that and suddenly we heard this noise coming from the sky and we realized they were white herons passing by talking REALLY loud, and somehow something made me count how many they were… and they were 18. I was ‘=O’, looked at my dad and he had counted them too and he replied ‘=O =S’ and we just couldn’t believe that. 18 birds for 18 trees… That was just the best of the Easter gifts.

The rest of the day was just about food, chocolate and spending time with the family (and laughing about one of my cousins who hit a pole while riding his bike because he was starring at the moon - how cute is that? And, no, he wasn’t drunk or high ^^). Aye, I come from a pack of moon admirers and I couldn’t be happier about it.

So that was my Easter holiday. Full of mystery, signs and trees which are now part of a lovely and swampy spot in the middle of a farm in the middle of nowhere. And may they be alright for good and remain there even when I’m gone.


'The days were brighter
Gardens more blooming
The nights had more hope
In their silence
The wild was calling
Wishes were whispering
The time was there
But without a meaning

Away, away in time
Every dream's a journey away
Away to a home away from care
Everywhere’s just a journey away

The days departed
Gardens deserted
This frail world
My only rest?
The wild calls no more
Wishes so hollow
The Barefoot Boy
Weeping in an empty night

Away ...

Cherish the moment
Tower the skies
Don't let the dreamer
Fade to grey like grass
No falling for life
A gain for every loss
Time gathered me
But kept me flying

"For this gift of dream I must pay the price with the loss of life's pleasures"'